I Had Everything, Yet Not Happy!!
Left my office at 6 pm, and all seemed perfect. Cruising on my bike toward my cozy flat with a large TV, PS5, comfy sofa, and dinner ready. But as I inched along at 10 kmph, doubts crept in. The “perfect” wasn’t so perfect after all.
November 2022 marked my return to Bangalore, the so-called ‘Silicon Valley of India’. The name felt unoriginal, but the allure was undeniable. With dreams of a high-paying IT job, early retirement, and the city’s lights calling me after the second COVID wave.
I had a plan.
- Get a flat— ✅
- Fast city Bike yet something I can that can be used for Road Trips — ✅
- Get a Big Ass 4K TV to play games, watch movies, listen to music and chill out — ✅
- Get a bean bag — ✅
- Setup 2 Workplaces for office and my stuff — ✅
- Setup my kitchen with gas, stove, utensils and the standard shit — ✅
- Get a North Indian cook who can cook mom’s type food — ✅(almost)
- Have a balcony where I can read books on a small chain in the morning — ✅
Be Happy — ❌ (red cross, in case the emoji didn’t load)
I had a plan.
Plan was PERFECT.
Yet the result was NOT perfect.
Leaving the office at 6 pm, is the perfect time for gym, socializing, relaxation, and personal pursuits.
Approaching my bike in the office parking lot, it gleamed like perfection. As I donned my helmet, Keys in, headlights ablaze.
I mounted the bike, legs flung wide and revved the engine, feeling the thrill course through me.
Midway from the office, I noticed I was cruising at a mere 10 kmph — unfathomably slow for someone accustomed to 80–100 kmph.
I pushed to 70 kmph, only to slow back down.
This wasn’t right. As an adrenaline junkie, speed was my thrill. Yet, something felt off. I questioned myself.
Conscious Me : Why are you driving so slow?
Subconscious Me : I like this slow drive.
Conscious Me : Since when?
Subconscious Me : Since now. Lets reach flat later.
Conscious Me : Why? Let’s go and play on the PS5, or listen to some music. Food is also there, let’s have the chicken gravy and rice with salad.
Subconscious : Not really. Lets stay on the road. Why do you wanna go there?
Conscious : Why not? Its PERFECT.
Subconscious : WHAT PERFECT!!!
I don’t wanna go there!! Let’s go somewhere else.
Conscious Me: — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —A long silence followed by 10kmph drive back to the flat.
I had a plan.
The plan was PERFECT.
It worked perfectly alright. I got everything on my checklist.
Yet for some reason, I did not want to go to this PERFECT flat.
That’s when I realized it was time to ask questions. Questions to myself and the world.
Something is not right. Maybe my PERFECT plan was not so perfect?
Maybe the TV is not big enough?
Maybe I need Xbox as well?
Maybe the food is not good enough?
What about the location? Maybe the flat location is bad!
Maybe I need a recliner sofa?
I started running simulations in my mind. I’m pretty good at imagining things which are always almost as true as the real thing.
The simulation was, me making a change in my flat and the returning from office. Yet in every simulation I imagined, I was still driving at 10kmph.
Something was wrong! In my simulations, I had a car, recliner, and TV as big as the wall itself. PS5, XBOX Series X and Nintendo Switch.
4 outlet premium stove with state-of-the-art kitchen with Italian marble that exudes luxury with its pristine surfaces. (I love designer kitchens)
Yet I was driving at 10kmph in all of them.
Something was WRONG!
I’ll write more on this. Let me know if you have experienced this SOMETHING WRONG!
Have a good day!
Cheers :)
