This Last Year Has Taught Me a Very Important Lesson About Happiness
2022 is over and we all have learnt a lot from it. I got a very important lesson on happiness from this year. Having everything I ever dreamt of and still not happy led me to deep thinking and this is my conclusion.
Recently I bought a 43 Inch, 4k HDR Sony Bravia TV. This is the 2nd last thing I wanted to buy to complete my wish list (still pending on a car). I had everything I had imagined in college. The perfect life.
Independent living in 1BHK, with all amenities like fridge, washing machine, PS5, TV, cook, bike etc.
I became happy for a while but that cheerful mood soon faded away.
This led to do a lot of thinking on where I’m going on in life and what am I doing.
After some thinking and reading, I realized my whole point of happiness was wrong. I was in the belief that somehow after getting everything I always wanted I would live happily forever.
Of course I realized this was complete crap. There is nothing in this world that could be achieved for permanent happiness or satisfaction.
The whole idea of happiness is with your state of mind. Real happiness comes from having the right state of mind.
- If I buy a house I’ll be happy.
- If I get that car, I’ll be happy.
- If I get a jacked body, I’ll be happy.
- If I get a girlfriend I’ll be happy.
- If I didn’t had this disability, I would have been happy.
- If I only had more money, I would become happy.
- If I eat healthy, I’ll be happy.
If this is your state of mind, it’s never going to give you happiness. Studies show that happiness from a new marriage lasts only for 2 years at max.
If things like marriage cannot give you lasting happiness, do you think materialistic things would ever give you happiness?
Happiness is a sense of being. It’s a way of thinking that makes you comfortable in all scenarios of life.
- Bad scores in test?
- Investments going down?
- Stuck in traffic?
- Your crush doesn’t feel the same?
- Too much pressure at work?
- Fight with a friend?
- Misunderstanding with family?
- Miscommunication with spouse?
Even with all of these you can still be happy. Happiness has everything to do with how you deal with situations around you and expectations inside your head.
To sum it all, it’s about you and the people around you (let me explain). You can handle materialistic things easily (money, gadgets, vehicles, etc). It just requires some thinking and you’ll be able to detach yourself from any materialistic thing. But when it comes to people, it gets a bit complicated.
With people it’s not about achievements or goals. It’s about presence of being. It’s about letting go of your ego and expectations and just being in the moment with them.
Sometimes on workday, I go to my friends house and do WFH from there.
We talk, he teaches me how to play guitar, we eat lunch together and show memes to each other.
It’s way more fun than playing Game of Year on my PS5 and 43Inch 4k TV.
Talking to my mom after hustling is happiness.
Going with friends on a Trek and the Trek is closed. Instead of being sad about it, eating corn and watching the sunrise from the road is happiness.
If I had kept the expectation of going up the hill and watching sunrise at the perfect moment between the clouds then of course I would have been disappointed and unsatisfied. But the whole idea of going was to spend some time with my buddy which I did and it gave me immense happiness.
When it comes to personal happiness, you need to talk to yourself.
- Why are you sad?
- What do you need?
- Are you happy where you are?
- Why are you not working on what you want in life?
- Does this lifestyle align with your life purpose and goals?
- Does this action align with your life values?
Answer to these questions at all times gives a real sense of happiness from inside.
This is my understanding of happiness and satisfaction in life. Thanks for reading.
Cheers :)
